The Importance of a Rule of Life
I am a creature of habit. I like routine and have a hard time deviating from the plan I have in my head if something else comes up to suddenly disrupt it. In recent years I have also noticed that I can easily become resentful of others when I feel that they are trying to disrupt my plans, feeling like they are trying to take advantage of me.
Yet, the main reason I tend to deal with this has more to do with my difficulty in saying no to others and having boundaries. These are very real daily struggles I have to deal with. It has only been with the help of contemplative practices and regularly meeting with a spiritual director that I have begun to notice and nurture these tendencies within me.
The Monastic Rhythm
To navigate these inner waters, I have leaned heavily into a modern form of monastic stability. Monks historically committed to a regula, a rule of life, not to restrict their freedom but to anchor their souls. My daily spiritual habits have become my own monastery walls.
They tend to include an hour of contemplative quiet each morning. This space includes twelve minutes of Centering Prayer, daily prayers from a book our church goes through each week, a daily meditation, journaling, and reading from some sort of spiritual book. In the afternoon, I return to the silence for a daily Examen. Once a week I practice a weekly Examen, and I aim to practice a monthly Examen at a half day retreat I try to set aside each month. To keep me grounded, I meet with my spiritual director every four to six weeks.
My rule of life includes more than daily spiritual practices but incorporates my vow to simplicity with specific and unique ways that I relate to food/drink, purchases, technology and possessions. Commitments to my local church, formational healing, confession and spiritual friendships are also a part of this rule. My clearly identifying and structuring the way I feel called to live, I am primed to more clearly model the life in growing union with God that I wish to embody.
The Mystical Invitation
In the mystical tradition, the spiritual life is not about achieving perfection or flawless execution of a schedule. Mysticism teaches us that the ultimate goal is union with the Divine, which requires a radical letting go of our own control.
For a long time, I viewed my rigidity as a flaw to be eradicated. But contemplative wisdom invites us to a different path, one where we learn to notice and nurture our defense mechanisms rather than wage war against them. When we stop fighting our natural tendencies, we can begin to see them as invitations to deeper grace.
Whatever rhythms you choose to have, know that you need to create and protect a way of life that will help you show up, grow, and heal. A rule of life exists to serve your transformation, allowing you to live into what you and God deeply desire for you to become.
